Moderation? What's that?

Last night was bizarre (zarbi, as French slang of several years ago would have me put it)
Partook-- too much: I had my moments of euphoria, but in between that were intense bouts of feeling like my throat was closing up, like I could never drink enough water to quench my thirst (still feels like that, actually), like I was so out of place on the couch with S and J watching artsy trippy porn next to me. Like I was back to the same old middle-school feeling of intense social paranoia. A lot of this is staying with me, actually.
The interaction between J and I seemed a little sour last night. As if it changed somehow; there wasn't the usual fondness involved. Maybe it was the influence of the brownies... I don't know, I guess I'll find out eventually.
After thinking about it more, I am quite happy be doing this casual thing. I'm not in a place to have a serious relationship right now. Hell, if A was in town I know I wouldn't be sticking to one person either. Or J.B... man, the other day I was fantasizing about a threesome with J and J.B-- that would be sooo hot.

Now I am stuck with this fucked up feeling (and physical sickness from binging when I got home) and trying to focus on the test I'm supposed to be taking. I suspect I may end up taking it tomorrow (or at least napping before I take it.)

Oh, man.